Welcome to PastaDrop, the future of pasta purchasing and sending and the solution to the pasta problems of the past.
In other words, we let you send pasta to your friends. Now, whether you plan on engaging in a PastaDrop or have received a PastaDrop, you likely have questions and we likely have answers.
What exactly is PastaDrop?
PastaDrop is an innovative new pasta dispersal method years in the making, a disruption in the culinary ecommerce sector that will continue moving the needle into the coming decade and beyond.
None of this answers the question at all. Seriously, what is PastaDrop?
Fine. It’s simple. Each week, we drop an innovative new noodle, and each week you can send some to a friend, neighbor, family member, or anyone really, as long as you have their address and suspect they’d appreciate receiving a bunch of pasta.
How much is 'a bunch of pasta'?
To be determined.
Do you even know how much pasta you're sending to people?
Right now, it’s mysterious and unpredictable.
Wait, so is the ‘PastaDrop’ when pasta gets delivered or is the ‘PastaDrop’ when a new kind of pasta launches on the site?
Why is this FAQ so confusing for such a simple concept?
Real talk here: you know how everyone is making sourdough to kill time these days? Well, this is our sourdough. The FAQ, the site, all of it–this is what we are doing to stay sane.
Going back to what you said before: what makes your pasta so innovative?
Aside from an assortment of pasta shapes and lengths which we have custom-engineered shapes to maximize flavor distribution, all of our pasta is prepared using EZ-Boil D-hydration Technology®.
So it's... dry pasta?
That’s right! Our initial plan was to pack and ship cooked bowls of pasta, but after much beta-testing, we had to give up on this dream. The bowls just kept breaking! We examined our process and made two upgrades: 1) we developed a synthetic polymer to replace the ceramic material bowls are traditionally made of (we call this polymer Plas-Tek); and 2) we started putting the bowls in boxes before sending them. But the result was not what we wanted. The pasta that arrived was cold and unpleasant. Our investors grew concerned and started pulling their funds, forcing us to sell 3 of the 4 stingray tanks in our open concept Mountain View office. Finally, someone had an idea: we allow the user to cook the pasta, thus bringing them into the process and making them a core shareholder in the product’s outcome.
Wait, sorry. Do you really think you invented dry pasta?
We like to think that we find workarounds and patches for the bugs in the complicated system of life.
That doesn't really make any sense?
How about this: we streamline processes and maintain blockchain synergy to deliver powerful ROI to our consumer-level users, organically.
That's even worse. Let's just move on. What's the cost here?
A PastaDrop costs $20 + shipping. Members ($4.99/month) get free shipping here and our other sites.
Got anything else to sweeten the pot?
Sure, since we just launched we’ll throw in $50 total store credit for our other sites. After you PastaDrop you’ll get an email with $10 off each of our five other sites. You can use these codes once on each site to…save $10.
Oh, and the PastaDrop recipient will also get a code they can use to PastaDrop someone else. Pasta it forward, if you will. (Or even if you won’t.)
You're really going to use PastaDrop as a verb?
Is there anything else we need to know?
PastaDrop comes in with built-in engagement-drivers such as a forum and a weekly poll. Whether you have received a PastaDrop, sent a PastaDrop, or are awaiting the next PastaDrop, it does not matter. We want to build a digital community of PastaDrop lovers who share recipes, praise the ingenuity of PastaDrop, discuss pasta preferences, ask each other questions, and even praise the ingenuity of PastaDrop!
We want to build a weird little online pasta-giving community.
But to summarize: the big thing here is sending pasta to friends, yes?
We are facilitating lasting connections one PastaDrop at a time.
Again: it's just for sending a bunch of pasta to your friends for fun, right?
We are establishing the new normal in at-home pasta ordering and distribution.
We're not going to get a straight answer here, are we?